The Lavender Garden of Relationships: Beyond Colonized Models of Intimacy By Payam Ghassemlou MFT, SEP, Ph.D.
As members of the LGBTQ+ community, we have the opportunity to cultivate relationships free from imposed religious, cultural, and social conditioning. Yet many of us continue to subscribe to colonized approaches to intimacy out of fear of judgment or a desire for acceptance. The garden of relationships is vast and diverse, offering many ways to love, connect, and build community. Whatever style of relationship you choose to cultivate is entirely up to you but let that choice be guided by what genuinely nourishes your life rather than by a desire for approval from the dominant culture. A typical gay man living in urban neighborhoods such as West Hollywood or Greenwich Village may have a network that includes platonic friends, friends with benefits, a life partner (who may or may not also be a sexual partner), work colleagues (ideally non-sexual, as workplace relationships can become complicated), and, in many cases, a broader community through 12-step programs, LGBTQ+-affirm...